In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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