I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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