Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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