my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
