yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
