im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
