I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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