You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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