he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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