Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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