so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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