Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
