We named our party play list daddy issues
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
