would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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