Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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