Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
