Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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