Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Randomize
