Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
