I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
