that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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