Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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