she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Randomize
