Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
