I'm sorry my penis didn't work
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
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