Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
