3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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