Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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