what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
