This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
