i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
