well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
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