They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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