I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
