Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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