Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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