I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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