My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
