You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize