GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
