I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
