before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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