So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
