just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
