Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Im just a social blackout drinker.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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