i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
someone owes me an orgasm
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
