watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize