its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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