i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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