Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
