She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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