so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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