he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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