Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
