i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
