Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
