Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
