I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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