I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
It's never too late to be topless.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
