a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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