u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
