Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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