Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
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