haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
