someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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