Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
