Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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