Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
They have beer where we have blood.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
