i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I will be naked everywhere
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
