If that was your dad, he is hot
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
She tied me up with her honor cords...
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
